With a Heavy Heart

I began this week with enthusiasm & with the hope that I would find time to post about our little spring break get-away to St. Augustine & JAX. But no one could have seen the tragedy that was to come.

On Monday afternoon, I received a phone call from one of my best friends. She shared news that a lady, a sister if you will, had just been discovered by her teenage daughter after committing suicide. I knew her very well. Our daughters, (hers is in 4th grade),were to sing together in the upcoming mother/daughter banquet tomorrow. Even though we were not terribly close, the disbelief, grief, & anger that I felt rode thru my body in sickening waves. She had been battling mental illness for some time now, & I guess things had become unbearable, at least in her mind. My heart is grieved at what her children must be going thru as I can not begin to fathom the intense grief & sorrow they must feel. It has all been so surreal, especially since most of us had seen her at worship the night before & things seemed to be going well. How difficult it is to explain to my own children in a way that is age appropriate while being honest and gentle.

In the midst of this tragedy, however, something amazing happened. I saw God. No, not in the ridiculous sense of seeing the image of Christ or Mary on a piece of toast or a random cheeto, but in the sense that we learn about in the New Testament. I saw God in the many people who flocked to the family's side in the wake of devastation. I saw God in the hands of ladies preparing food, men bringing in coolers of ice for drinks, in the loving kindness of our youth & even some of our elementary age children who hugged and cried and sometimes just sat in silence with the bereaved. I witnessed these young people show great maturity and concern for others that I have never seen before. God was there in a dear brother & sister in Christ who opened up their home to this aching & hurting family. A couple who have since taken off the week from work to help the family with arrangements, making sure the children receive immediate counseling & even sitting up all night with a teenage girl struggling with the memory of that terrible day.

Oh, God was there. In His people, in their eyes, their hearts, their hands, their feet He was there.