As mentioned in my previous post, I have had a bit of an estrogen imbalance resulting in 7 not-so-fun weeks. As of today, I am looking at having an ablation along with a tubal ligation in the very near future. Why is it, my female friends (& male if you have insight into this issue), that at almost 36 years of age, with 2 great kids, & with reasonable certainty that we are done having children, do I have the internal struggle with the decision to make it official??
Yes, I loved being pregnant. Yes, my children are tremendous blessings (even when they make me crazy or at least they exacerbate my existing craziness!). Yes, I love babies, toddlers, & preschoolers. (In fact, 0-5 is probably my favorite age group.) No, I do not think that I want the late night feedings, more laundry, more illnesses to go through, & all the other strains that come with parenting. But...I do miss the sweet smell of a baby's head as they nuzzle close to your neck; the sweet, yet bitter, feelings as they reach new milestones and independence; the excitement & joy over a new little life...these are hard to surrender. I guess if my sentimentality makes it difficult for me to throw away any little thing from Rebekah & Micah, it shouldn't surprise me that being a pack-rat might also spill over into body parts!!!
Seriously, can't you see me in the nursing home one day showing off my gallstones, or what have you, in little mason jars? You know you can... :)
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4 comments:
At 35 and happy with two boys, I was still weirded out by having such a FOREVER thing done to my body. It is indeed a strange struggle isn't it?
I think it is just the whole idea of taking away the possibility, the panic of "what if I change my mind?"
I have no advice on this. I'll pray you'll get some peace about it.
I don't want to see your gallstones. :(
Thanks for the prayers. I need them. I'm really disappointed that you wouldn't want to see my gallstones. Not even a peek?? LOL
Let me think about it...NO. :)
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